Amy and Dakin are the same age, except for two weeks every year when they are not. During those two weeks, Amy is older. They have different hair. Dakin is usually the one who wears glasses, but right now, Amy is wearing glasses too. So if you saw them right this minute you would not be able to tell them apart. Oh hell, pictures might help:

dakin holding a burrito, gazing at it lovingly; handwritten caption says "first burrito"

As you can see, Dakin has a burrito. He has a beard and sometimes wears a backpack. Just so we're clear, although this picture says "first burrito," that is NOT actually Dakin's first burrito. He had lots of burritos before that. He actually likes them better than tacos, which Amy just doesn't get.

Dakin works at Ticketfly as a Product Training "Specialist." Ha ha.

amy, disheveled, sitting on the edge of a bathtub with a bottle of gin

How is Amy so pretty and so good? Science doesn't know. (Do you?) Amy has a toy fox that she wears around her neck and enjoys drinking vodka on the toilet. She has a little dog who goes everywhere with her, unless he is rolling around in Dakin's beard, which he also likes.

Amy works as a librarian at the Oakland Public Library. It's like you only know how to conceptualize people by the work that capitalism has forced them into. 

dakin holding a chicken while a friend cuts poop off its butt, amy watching and laughing

Together, Dakin and Amy are ohhhhh god what is happening in this picture. Jesus, what is this.

dakin and amy smiling, close up

Dakin and Amy really like each other.

They should totally get married.